To Live or Die?

I am 39 yrs. young, but feel much older. I have had a not so good life, can't remember ever really being happy. I have just been living my life for others. Now I am at the point where I can't deal with life. I have had hard times getting a job; I always end up with shitty bosses and co-workers. I live in Maryland, but I am from SC. I don't have any real friends; the ones I thought I had were fake. I'm tired of being used. I do have a place to lay my head, but I still feel homeless. I have been in a shelter before and would love to try one again, but they have changed so much. I would have to fear for my life now. I'm trapped! I just want to end it all. When I hear of people killing themselves, I think, "how can they do that", now I know. There's only so much a person can take. Everyone is different. My life is just a big mess! A mess that I have allowed to get bigger and bigger. Now I feel that the only way out would be to leave this confussed world. My thoughts are not even reflected.

To Live or Die?

As long as ther is breath there is hope... Now you listed all the crappy stuff but you did not list any of your blessings. I can name 20 without ever seeing or meeting you.

1. You type with few or no grammar errors

2. you said 39 yrs young so somewhere in there is a good attitude.

3. Your brain works.

4. Your hands work.

5. Your eyes work.

6. You are employable

7 You have a desire to be around decent people.

8 You have so much room for improvement

9 You have excellent use of the semi-colon

10 You do have a place to lay your head

11 You have had many adventures and could write a book if you had to about them

12 You don't want to die

13 You are seeking help (by asking this question)

14 You are compassionate toward others

15 You notice changes

16 You know when things need to be different and you are willing to change your situation

17 You take responsibility for your own actions

18 You can type.

19 You have access to a computer

20 You know how to surf the net

21 You met ME (now that IS lucky) lol.....

There is hope. Make a goal... to something toward attaining that goal. 39 is too young to give up. It must be nice to be able to say such things... I myself have two little brats that need me so I dont have that luxury. Keep your chin up.. volunteer your time to help others. Go work in that shelter for a while and youll see how good you have it... maybe if you helped others a bit you would feel more needed. Take some classes. Get a PELL grant... get a new or second job.... have more social outlets, listen to kids who are below grade level read, all schools need volunteers to kids at a school.... be a part of society, quit acting like you dont contribute... go and contribute. I have faith in you. You made the first step by defining the problem. Now map the solution. Good for you, you're well on your way.

To Live or Die?

I'm sorry to hear your story....however I think you should speak to a professional before ending your life, once you go down that road there's no turning back. Good luck to you.

To Live or Die?

There is a saying.....

"Suicide is depression that was never treated."

Please see a doctor.

To Live or Die?

I think you need to be with someone you love, try to get a boyfriend or lover, it will make u happy.

I am 27 and I feel same you feel, I went out tried to meet, I met some nice one now, but still not sure.

you know try to travel, take time off and see new places.

do something you enjoy.. forexample, I love food so i try to cook something i like and invite my neibour (i dont have friends)

cheer up :)

To Live or Die?

Please wait, stop beating up yourself. I don't know you or anything your are going though, but I do know that I am younger than you and have been thought it all. Even when you fell ther is no one there some where out there there is an angel waith to hear from you and hear I am. Need to talk lets talk.

To Live or Die?

hi, i dont know about you. but my kind advice is for you.... life is for live.. you may make it fun and happy your self. jus you see others who are very very bad to compared to you. life is very sweet..who dont have problems in their life. without problem there is no intrest in this life. go every where in this world, see many kind of races, diff kind of people, poor, rich, middle class veriety of people. no food for some people. 400 million children cant get one time food every day in this world. these children who want to die. try to live.. dont spoil this wonderful world. ok

To Live or Die?

Your life is so precious. You dont want to really end it. What you do want/need is to lead a better life, and only you can do this. Sounds like you are a bit lonely. Dont you have places like "singles clubs", or maybe join a church where you can get to meet really sincere people. Up till now you dont seem to have been meeting the right people. You know the saying " Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone"%26gt; Well that is very true, maybe try smiling a bit more, and you will get a more positive response from your work colleagues as well. Please dont do anything silly. If you want a pen pal ( I live in Cape Town), then I am here, and can show you via email a whole different way of life. Let me know. Sometimes just putting how u feel on paper to somebody, also helps get rid of it. I have been down your road, so know how you feel. It does get better. I promise.

To Live or Die?

giving up is the easiest thing to do in this world

dont be a loser =)

To Live or Die?

Sounds like you need God in your life.

To Live or Die?

I'm sad for you and you described my life EXACTLY. We are even the exact same age! We should talk and see if we could help each other.

To Live or Die?

Don't end your life it is not a good choice. Believe it or not there is someone out there who would miss you. You say their isn't anyone but you may not realize it yet. God put you here for a reason. I will pray that He will give you the needed comfort you seek and show you what it is he put you on Earth for in the first place. He will always be there for you and never leave you even though it may seem that he has. I have had those feelings. Many people do at least once in their life. But prayer helped me. A church counselor can also be a good place to seek help. But somehow seek help first.

To Live or Die?

How close are you to Greenville, SC. I had a great therapist there that turned my life around. You certainly need a therapist but they can be hard to find. Try calling a suicide hot line and see if you can get some referrals and do it quickly. Next, I suggest that you take classes in nature...Try a college or Arboretum that teachs hands on classes in the great outdoors. Once you begin to understand how this world is put together, it could change your life. To see that bugs, rats, snails, birds and humans all have a purpose can help to give some meaning to your life. It will also get you outdoors and away from the walls that continually reflect your misery back at you. Once you can make your life more simple and basic, alot of your concerns will leave you. Besides someone to talk to, you need a hobby of some kind that will take your attention away from your problems and focus your energy elsewhere. In case you are anywhere near Greenville, the therapist of Joanne Smith. You are a unique person and only you can give value to your own unique qualities. I can tell by your writing that you are a good person and don't need to become part of the ground at age 39.

To Live or Die?

Obviously you don't really want to die. If you did you wouldn't have posted this, so take that little glimmer of hope inside you and make a call to get a therapist. I do understand your pain. I'm also 39 and have had a pretty crappy life at times and have thought of suicide, but deep down I know that's not the answer and you know it's not the answer. I know how painful everything seems right now, but IT WON"T ALWAYS FEEL THIS BAD. Please call someone and get some help. I'm sure you have a suicide hotline or a local mental health clinic you can get to. Go get help or call for help RIGHT NOW. Things seem hopeless, but if you just reach out someone will be there to try and catch you. JUST TRY...PLEASE!!!

To Live or Die?

it seems u re feeling depressed and tired, very tired. it also seems to me that u are a very strong person, because of what u said, that u gave a lot to others, u ve been through many difficulties and u are still here, still trying and still asking for help.

it doesnt seem to me u want to dies, u just want A BETTER LIFE. you re just feeling too tired right now to go for it. and this is rather normal and expected if u ve been through a lot.

U said "I" have been living my life for others, and "i" have allowed to get bigger and bigger (the mess). if YOU have DONE this, then YOU can UNDO this. Dont make your responsibility a big guilt, use it, use it for your own good, use it to see the power u have in your hands, if you have so much power to make your life a mess then i am sure you have the power to make it different!

Take a break, give some time to yourself, take a step back and watch, get some rest! Put some priorities, start from the most important and simplest things, something to make u feel more secure. Seek help, you dont have to go through this alone! I dont know where u come from but i beileve there will be some organisations that can help u either financially, or in finding a job, or socialising or most important of all some psychological help.

You are too young, u have plenty of time to make things as u want them to be. Take care of yourself! Sit down and think what u want to do with your life, THEN worry about how to do it.

see how many people do care? and how many felt the same way? you are not alone!

To Live or Die?

Hi,

bmac is absolutely right! You are a good, good person but don't expect to find a lot of them in your life. You need to print this out and give it to your doctor if you feel this bad. He'll prescribe something to help you...and sometimes we all need a little help...even the people who make you feel this way...maybe especially them but there is no pill for ignorance.

It is nice that you do for others but as my dad often told me..."think of yourself first, yourself second and if there is anything left over, yourself again." He was right...you can't help anyone till you can help yourself. I pray you take heed and see the doctor for this condition. Life is all we know and you are worth it. Good luck and good health.

To Live or Die?

Hello,

I used to think my life was meaningless; I was always feeling sad, alone, and usually afraid. I felt like a burden on this world. But then I learned about true love, the love that Jesus Christ gave me, and continues to give me. That's what I needed. I learned about this love through reading the Bible. Now I have a peace and joy that is hard to explain but it is there. I no longer imagine myself as a candidate for suicide.

Please get a Bible and read it; may I suggest reading the Gospel of John. Please pray before you read it and ask God to reveal himself, his strength, and his love to you. He will do it if you ask in earnest.

I share a passage that has been helpful to me when I was in despair. It is from the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 11, verse 28-30. Jesus was calling out to people:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I will be praying for you. Sincerely, Riccardo

To Live or Die?

Know it or not? There is someone that loves you more than human can ever love you. He loves you so much that He died for you! Please dont hurt yourself you are of sooo much value to Him! Yes, I am Christian and I can tell you that before I gave my life to Christ. It was hopeless and without meaning but now I can tell you that since I gave Him a chance life means so much more to me now and it is so much more enjoyable. I was at the end of my rope with nothing else to loose and at that last moment I figured why not? Why not give Him a chance? I have nothing else to loose? And so I did. and he took away all my sorrow and pain and filled me with complete Joy, Peace, and Happiness. Won't you give Him a chance Please?! I know He will do the same for you! He Loves you soo much! Please Check out these links below. Life can be worth living. Dont Give Up! I will be praying for you!

And If youve tried church I say keep trying sometimes it may not be the right church for you. Check out these Links below and give God a chance.